Name:
Location: Irvine, California, United States

E-mail Me

My Blog Profile

Technorati search

    WWW
    ...in the outer...

My Amazon Wish List

    Search Now:

Subscribe

Help fuel my writing dream...

My Bloglines Subs & Stuff

    Listed by category are subscriptions to blogs I monitor and read. Check them out!

    Note: Sites listed by this blog does not imply endorsement of anything except when they promote this site.

Other Cool Sites I Visit

Recommended for your Library


    Ethics: The Heart of Leadership

    Edited by Joanne Ciulla. An important collection of essays by philosophers, leadership and management thinkers considering the role of ethics in leadership


    Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness

    By Robert K. Greenleaf, Larry C. Spears, Stephen R. Covey. Servant and leader--can these two roles be fused in one real person in all levels of status and calling?


    Warranted Christian Belief

    By Alvin Plantinga. Third in a trilogy of works on the issue of warrant - the basis of the rationality of Christian beliefs written by arguably the most important philosopher of religion alive today


    Renovation of the Heart

    By Dallas Willard. A philosopher and quintessential Christian teacher relates and reflects on what it means to put on the character of Christ.


    Foreign Bodies

    By Hwee Hwee Tan. An impressive first novel by young new author from Singapore acclaimed as an up and coming Pulitzer Prize winner


    Mammon Inc.

    By Hwee-Hwee Tan. Second novel by this very important young new author from Singapore applauded the world over, including The Times in London and the New York Times


    Three Philosophies of Life

    By Peter Kreeft. Three life philosophies presented through the works of three of Scriptures most beautiful poetry books, Job, Ecclesiastes and Songs of Solomon


    Horrendous Evil and the Goodness of God

    By Marilyn McCord-Adams. A seminal response to the age-old problem of evil which attempts to take seriously the theological ramifications of the character of God


    Blink

    By Malcolm Gladwell. Blink is about the first two seconds of looking--the decisive glance that knows in an instant.


    Smart Mobs

    By Howard Rheingold. A social commentary about how "sophisticated mobile Internet access is allowing people who don't know each other to act in concert".


    Linked

    By Albert-Laszlo Barabasi. An engaging treatise about the fundamentals of interconnectedness and complexity that underlies neurology, epidemiology, Internet traffic, and many other fields.


    The Peaceable Kingdom

    By Stanley Hauerwas. A clear explication of a Christian ethic based upon the meaning of the gospel, highlighting virtues and character, and narrative as a mode of ethical reflection.


    The Goldsworthy Trilogy: Gospel & Kingdom, Gospel & Wisdom, Gospel & Revelation

    By Graeme Goldsworthy. A collection of masterful works expositing on the centrality of the Scriptures: the gospel of Jesus Christ.


    Grace and Law: St. Paul, Kant, and the Hebrew Prophets

    By Heinz Cassirer. A Kantian scholar looks at the Old Testament Law, and Paul's understanding of it, concluding that Kant's delimma is answered by the gospel of grace.

The Un-Right Christians

Progressive Christian Blogger Network

Church Directory of Evangelical Blogs

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Driving Skills and Self-Esteem

One of the major deals for me when I moved from Australia to the United States was driving myself around. First, I had to get used to driving on the other side of the road. Next, I had to learn to find my way around LA, zipping along freeways and around town, and in certain parts to pretend that I know where I was going so that I don't look like the foreigner that I was.

In a few short months, though, I gained more confidence and no longer hesitated, especially when approaching those ubiquitous four way stops, or when I had to turn at an intersection. During my first couple of months in America, when sitting at the front passenger seat while someone else was driving, I would automatically put my foot down on the imaginary brake pedal when the car turned at an intersection, freaking out and thinking we were driving into a lane with on-coming traffic!

Even as my confidence grew as I drove myself around, I found that I still lacked confidence when someone else were to be in my car. I would inevitably be a little more nervous and felt a little self-conscious.

I wonder if you have had such feelings. Especially when you are in a new environment, or when you are a new driver. Did you ever feel self-conscious when someone traveled with you?


Why is that?

Thinking about this, I wonder if it is because we have developed this almost insane idea that our driving skills are reflections of our character and our self worth is inextricably tied to how well we maneuver the automobile.


I wonder if it is the same reason why sometimes we get upset with other drivers on the road. Why we criticize and tell other drivers off when they make mistakes, or slow down, get unsure of where they are going, or heaven forbid, cut us off in the freeway?

Somehow, when we are behind the wheel, we develop this ultra critical personality and everyone else on the road becomes either a competitor, or a challenge to our self-esteem, and the way we gain self-assurance and confidence is to put every one down.

Perhaps, it is exacerbated by the bumper-to-bumper traffic that we face right here in this multi-parking lot that occur almost round the clock on the gridlock that we call LA freeways. It doesn't help when the amount of traffic daily is probably more than all the traffic that is on the road in the entire country of Australia right here in this mad country called "SoCal".


Still I wonder, why our Dr Hyde comes out in all his ugliness when we are behind the wheel? Why do we forgive less, get annoyed more easily and become ultra critical about everyone else when we are all trying to maneuver our individual death machine from one place to another?

I remember as a younger man, traveling with my family in the car. Everyone was enjoying themselves. My children were a little young then and they were sharing some fun stories and having a laugh. Suddenly, I yelled out, livid at the crazy driver in front of me who I thought did something unbelievably stupid, but now I have forgotten what it was. All I remember now is that I was fuming and the atmosphere in the car changed dramatically. All of a sudden everyone grew quiet. Dad is mad, so let's not laugh, let's not make a noise and let him concentrate.

I realized there and there that
Iwas the crazy one. For I had allowed a complete stranger to spoil my family's fun and enjoyment, and I had allowed someone else to control how I feel. Ever since then, I had tried to give grace to drivers around me, and allow them to make mistakes, to be unsure of where they were going, and to be human as they attempt to drive themselves safely to their destination. It has helped me to be a more relaxed driver and not been as tensed when I am driving. And, it has helped the atmosphere in the car for my family tremendously!

Yet, when I was trying to get used to driving in a completely different environment I couldn't help but felt self-conscious about my driving abilities when someone else was in the car with me. As if how well I maneuvered the vehicle told something about who I really was! How silly is that?