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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Sleepless in Limbo

As you can see, I am still not asleep. Insomnia is a symptom of depression. Both of course can also be a sign of doubt, faithlessness and fear. I embrace them all. I admit I am really afraid of the what the future holds or not hold.

On the one hand, I chide myself, "O Soul, why are you downcast?"

On the other hand, I confess, "...and I shall yet praise Him, My Savior and My God!"

But, I just cannot help but feel the depression slipping in. Steathily but surely.

But before I sink too deeply into a debilitating despair, I want to confess my faith and trust in God, that He will lead and guide me in helping me find a company that will allow me to flourish and use the over twenty years of experience I have had in management, sales, marketing, business processes, and information technology, especially in customer relationship management, database marketing and sales force automation.

For reasons that I do not wish to disclose in this public forum, I must find a position quickly or there will be dire consequences too difficult to explain or contemplate.

I would like to spend a few moments thinking about the ideal company and the ideal position. The ideal company is one that places high values on ethics, individual performance as well as encourages collaborative teamwork. The ideal position will allow me to exploit the combination of my acute "technology-savvy-ness"and strong business acumen, as well as my passionate communication style with my strengths in customer facing situations.

Please pray with me, not so much that I get a position, any position, but that I sense in a deep way, the presence of God in my search for the next step.

I ask God for courage, for wisdom, for a clarity of purpose and for direction in where He is going to lead me and my family. Pray for growth, for transformation and for each of my children to learn afresh what it means to trust God. Pray that this lesson will remain with us and that we will be so transformed that we will not forget. Most of all, pray for opportunities for each member of my family to serve God and be channels of blessings. Pray especially for my daughter that she will return to her faith in God.