Location: Irvine, California, United States

E-mail Me

My Blog Profile

Technorati search

    WWW the outer...

My Amazon Wish List

    Search Now:


Help fuel my writing dream...

My Bloglines Subs & Stuff

    Listed by category are subscriptions to blogs I monitor and read. Check them out!

    Note: Sites listed by this blog does not imply endorsement of anything except when they promote this site.

Other Cool Sites I Visit

Recommended for your Library

    Ethics: The Heart of Leadership

    Edited by Joanne Ciulla. An important collection of essays by philosophers, leadership and management thinkers considering the role of ethics in leadership

    Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness

    By Robert K. Greenleaf, Larry C. Spears, Stephen R. Covey. Servant and leader--can these two roles be fused in one real person in all levels of status and calling?

    Warranted Christian Belief

    By Alvin Plantinga. Third in a trilogy of works on the issue of warrant - the basis of the rationality of Christian beliefs written by arguably the most important philosopher of religion alive today

    Renovation of the Heart

    By Dallas Willard. A philosopher and quintessential Christian teacher relates and reflects on what it means to put on the character of Christ.

    Foreign Bodies

    By Hwee Hwee Tan. An impressive first novel by young new author from Singapore acclaimed as an up and coming Pulitzer Prize winner

    Mammon Inc.

    By Hwee-Hwee Tan. Second novel by this very important young new author from Singapore applauded the world over, including The Times in London and the New York Times

    Three Philosophies of Life

    By Peter Kreeft. Three life philosophies presented through the works of three of Scriptures most beautiful poetry books, Job, Ecclesiastes and Songs of Solomon

    Horrendous Evil and the Goodness of God

    By Marilyn McCord-Adams. A seminal response to the age-old problem of evil which attempts to take seriously the theological ramifications of the character of God


    By Malcolm Gladwell. Blink is about the first two seconds of looking--the decisive glance that knows in an instant.

    Smart Mobs

    By Howard Rheingold. A social commentary about how "sophisticated mobile Internet access is allowing people who don't know each other to act in concert".


    By Albert-Laszlo Barabasi. An engaging treatise about the fundamentals of interconnectedness and complexity that underlies neurology, epidemiology, Internet traffic, and many other fields.

    The Peaceable Kingdom

    By Stanley Hauerwas. A clear explication of a Christian ethic based upon the meaning of the gospel, highlighting virtues and character, and narrative as a mode of ethical reflection.

    The Goldsworthy Trilogy: Gospel & Kingdom, Gospel & Wisdom, Gospel & Revelation

    By Graeme Goldsworthy. A collection of masterful works expositing on the centrality of the Scriptures: the gospel of Jesus Christ.

    Grace and Law: St. Paul, Kant, and the Hebrew Prophets

    By Heinz Cassirer. A Kantian scholar looks at the Old Testament Law, and Paul's understanding of it, concluding that Kant's delimma is answered by the gospel of grace.

The Un-Right Christians

Progressive Christian Blogger Network

Church Directory of Evangelical Blogs

Saturday, October 23, 2004

The hardest thing about letting go

When No 1 Daugher openly rebelled and declared she doesn't want to follow God, go to church or be a Christian any longer, my pastor counseled me, "Let her go... if you put your foot down now, it might take her 10 years to come back, but if you let her go, she might come back in a year or so."

Letting go... that is the most difficult thing for me to do.

Aren't I supposed to be a father? Aren't fathers supposed to lead, to train, to discipline and to set the boundaries? Aren't fathers supposed to correct, to teach, to show the way and to say "No, thou shalt not..."?

That is when I woke up...

Fathers... they are supposed to model...

...Christ, who looks at them when they mess up, when they sin, when they cross the line... and Who forgives unconditionally.

...Christ, who suffers when the fathers continually disobey and break His heart when they want their own way, take short cuts, yell and scream at their kids, "Why are you like that??" and yet the Christ stands ready to pardon, to strengthen, to offer grace and mercy...

Grace, unmerited favor. Blessing the father when he doesn't deserve to be blessed. Blessing him with forgiveness of sins, with strength to carry on his responsibilities, with protection from evil, with the Holy Spirit for contant communion and fellowship.

Mercy, undeserved non-punishment. When the father messes up, he doesn't get what he deserves, because the Merciful One looks on, standing ready to apply His shed blood on the wounds when the father comes back, repentant, desperate. When the father returns time and again, He redeems and restores.

So I learned my lesson, or am still learning it. I let my daughter go. It hurts so much to see her living her life without God. I prayed. I agonized. But it is not about me. It is about God's glory, and His will to use me as a vehicle for the blessing of others around me. God wants to use me to bring about transformation in my daughter's life. And, He wants to do it His way.

Now, almost a year later, she came home. Yet, it wasn't coming back to God. Not yet. A couple nights ago, she asked, "Dad, may I spend the night at [name of her boyfriend]'s house?"

I was stunned.

A million thoughts went through my mind. Let go. She knows my standards. I have taught her and raised her with Christian morals. I must trust. She honored me by asking my permission. There is no need to be authoritarian about the matter. Let go. Trust. Grace.

I did not say "No." I looked at her lovingly. She may go. My heart hurts. But I will trust.